King Andrew I of Estonia

I mentioned in my last post that I would guarantee a day off work even when public holidays fall on a weekend when I became Estonian Prime Minister. But screw that! What I need is to be the King of Estonia, so that I could pass whatever rules I liked. Estonia has never really had its own king, but it has been the territory of Kings, as well as Czars, Führers and General Secretaries. There were a bunch of crazies who proposed that Estonia set up a Monarchy after independence, and their party received 7 percent of the vote in the first post soviet election in 1992. So I think the planets have aligned, and my destiny as absolute ruler is nigh! My first decrees, in addition to the change in public holidays, will be as follows:

• Complete ban on beige suits for men.
• Complete ban on socks and sandals.
• complete ban on the mullett.
  
• Drivers who fail to give a courtesy wave when they are let into traffic will lose their license on the spot. This should also solve any traffic problems as most drivers would be taken off the road.
  
• Aussie Rules football will be telecast live on ETV. Every game, every week.
• Cruise passengers will face a 50 Crown ($5) for leaving the ship. All these fat Americans are wearing out Tallinn's streets faster than heavy trucks! Plus they're just annoying, walking around in groups of 45 just itching to buy crappy souvenirs.
• Cars will no longer be allowed to park on the footpath. In fact I don't think they are now, but I would actually enforce that law.
• I would discontinue the use of coins. The lowest note is 2 Crowns (20c) and the highest coin is 1 Crown (10c) Most people hate ending up with a wad of worthless notes. I actually love it though, as I no longer wear out the coin pocket in my jeans or wreck my wallet. The coins that are here are pointless, so just get rid of them.
• Estonian air would begin offering direct flights between Melbourne and Tallinn at cost. Though knowing Estonian Air it would probably still be expensive, and without doubt the flights would always be delayed!
• Estonian housewives will be limited to garnishing one dish per week with dill, a reduction from the current average of 14.
• Laughing at a foreigner speaking Estonian will be illegal, no matter how badly they mangle Eesti Keel.
• Serving warm beer will result in a very large fine. Anything warmer than 2 degrees is clearly unaceptable. Military service for young Estonian men will be replaced with training on how it is unacceptable to dump a six pack of cans on the table at a BBQ and leave them out, getting warm, for people to take as they please.
  

I will fund my rule from speeding fines. Speed cameras on each of the main highways between the bigger towns would provide me with plenty of funds for building a nice palace or two. In fact, I may just restore the Keili Joa Manor to its former glory, as seen below, and rule from there. I think it would suit me nicely.

Jaani Päev

Monday and Tuesday were public holidays here in Estonia. The 23rd is Victory day which commemorates a rare Estonian military victory, over the Germans in WWI. The 24th is Mid Summers day, or Jaanipäev (St. Johns Day) I wont regurgitate information from Wikipedia, in the unlikely cast that anyone wants to read more you can do it straight from Wikipedia! I just thought I'd make a few random observations that popped into my head this year.

• The weather is always crap on Jaanipäev. This year it bucketed down, which pretty much ruins the whole concept of sitting out drinking and BBQing all night. It's a bit like Geelong Show day, for those from the city of dreams. The sun came back out today as everyone went back to work.
  
• I haven't met a single Estonian who actually know what victory Victory Day commemorates. A bit like asking Aussies who the first Australian PM was!
• Driving around town over the long weekend felt like being in one of those post apocalyptic films like 28 days later. Everyone escapes Tallinn for the country side, and as a result roads are empty, parking spots abound, and tourists amble through the cobble stoned streets wondering where the hell the people are.
• It was good that the days fell on Monday/Tuesday. In estonia if a public holiday falls on a weekend, there is no day off in leiu. I aim to change that when I am Estonian President. I have a lot of new rules to make when I am Estonian President, perhaps I'll outline my plans in my next post.
  

Getting my 7 cents worth, even if I don't pay it!

Whenever I get an email or talk with someone from Australia, they always seem to want to tell me about the news, particularly sporting events. What they seemingly fail to realise is that I already know. I read at least one, if not two newspapers online everyday, I listen top the footy live quite a bit, and I even watch TV news. The strange thing is that since I have moved to Estonia I think I have a better idea about what's going on in Austalia than when I lived there. The main reason for this is that grand old media institution, the ABC.

Since I relocated to the other side of the globe, I have found that Austalia's government broadcaster is a hell of a lot better at using the web than commercial media. I guess it may be easier for them in that they are not protecting entrenched commercial interests, but even so they put Austalia's commercial broadcasters to shame.

Estonia is an internet country. Every decent sized institution, both public and private, makes use of the internet to provide better customer service, save money, or just to show off (like the e-elections. A tiny percentage of the population voted online, but Estonians loved the idea they did it). All in all, a tiny, still developing country like Estonia puts my home country to shame when it comes to e-commerce. The one player getting any kicks on the Aussie team is the ABC.

I have to confess that I have always loved the ABC, both TV and Radio. My housemates in Melbourne used to joke that I glued the 2 button down on the TV remote. But I love it even more since moving overseas. I can watch all of my favourite ABC shows, such as Insiders and Offsiders (Barry Cassidy is my hero, and I want his job. Analysing sport and politics, I'd be in heaven!), as well as discovering some new shows which have appeared since I've been in Tallinn, like Q&A. By the way, it's a great show, check it out if you haven't already. I also listen to a stack of ABC podcasts, especially from Radio National (which makes me feel old!) Sirli now loves listening to John Safran and Father Bob on the ABC more than I do! All thanks to Triple J.

So this long winded post is basically to say two things. Firstly, I think the ABC does great things given how poorly it's funded. Secondly, don't bother telling me who won the footy in your next email. Unless Richmond won, it doesn't happen often so I don't mind hearing about it twice!!

Tower Views

This week Tallinn has been hosting the Old Town Days, which involves a series of concerts and performances around the Old Town. As part of the festival the Town Hall tower was open, so I climbed up there this after noon. As I was wondering around I decided to do another touristy thing I have never done before, and visit Keik in de Kök, a cannon tower which is part of the town wall and is part of Estonian city Museum.

Here's some pictures...

100th Post

Given how terrible I am at putting any news up on this blog (and some might say putting anything of interest up!), it seems surprising that this is my 100th blog post. I thought that it might be worth doing a bit of a retrospective. I've been playing with a service called VUVOX, so I decided that I'd use it to show some photos from my nearly 2 years in Estonia. You'll have to click the arrow which appears on the right when you hover your mouse over the picture.

UPDATE
I deleted the VUVOX Thing, because the music came on automatically, and wouldn't stop. The song was quite annoying, and I'm not sure why i chose it in the first place!